I have never met a couple on their wedding day who did not want to have a great marriage. The twinkle in their eye is made of the hope of a great life together.
Fast forward months, years, or even decades and for a vast number of couples, the twinkle in their eye is replaced with a weary or even bitter heart towards their spouse.
I have done everything in my life not to end up there. But I have seen it happen to the best of people.
So where is the hope that this won’t be you?
I take my advice from John, a gentle and godly man. He was the father of a friend in college. I don’t know how to explain it, but when you walked into their house, it was different. You could tangibly feel the love and respect in the home.
I ran into John a number of years later. He was the speaker at a marriage conference, and I was the worship leader. Because I had seen the magic of his marriage and home, I was on the edge of my seat with wide open ears.
I don’t remember anything he said that weekend but this:
“The best way to have an extraordinary marriage is by doing ordinary things, every day.”
I felt let down. That was the sum of his wisdom? I was expecting a mind-blowing nugget of wisdom or truth. To be honest, I didn’t understand the statement at first.
But as he began to unpack the statement, I realized how brilliant it was. We all want great marriages, but we are often unwilling to do the everyday work to have it.
What he was saying is focus on the small things everyday and they will add up to a great marriage.
So what does it mean to do the ordinary, the small things?
It means opening the car door, listening intently, and not reacting to annoyances with anger, but with patience. It is choosing to help with the dishes and holding hands while walking in the parking lot.
The greatness of your marriage is the sum of all the small and seemingly insignificant things you do… everyday.
If you are frustrated in your marriage relationship and have lost the twinkle in your eye, give yourself to the small things… everyday. Don’t worry about planning a perfect date night. Start with the small and slowly build a culture of love and respect. Then date nights will be incredible.
If you still have the twinkle, find even more small ways to honor, love, and respect your spouse to keep growing.
But whatever you do, don’t give up!
So what about you? What are some of the small things you do that really matter to your spouse? Help us all out and let us know what works for you in the comments.